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Wood$

TigerWoods1997

My last Blog post looked at Tiger’s impressive return from the true golf fan’s point of view. Below is a more cynical view of Tiger’s latest comeback.

Wood$
Tiger’s play –
The best in years;
Golf’s retailers –
Leading the cheers.

Leon S White, PhD

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Playing Like Tiger

TigerWoods1997

As a fan of Tiger Woods from the beginning, I wrote this four-liner with higher hopes than I have had during past “come-backs.”

Playing Like Tiger

Could Tiger be playing like Tiger again?
It sure has been a while;
But if you’re a fan of golf at all,
It can only make you smile.

Leon S White, PhD

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When Tiger was the Master of the Masters

2005-06-13-in-nike

Tiger’s ball at the penultimate moment

With Tiger finally returning to the Masters this year, it is a good time to remember one of his most famous Masters shots that he made on the 16th hole in 2005. If you saw it live I would bet that you still remember it. But even for those of you that do and also for those that missed it, I offer this recollection.

♦A Masters Chip for the Ages

From a difficult lie beyond

the steeply sloped sixteenth green

a steely-eyed Tiger sent his ball
to a spot far above the hole,

the ball coming crisply off his wedge,
flew low, bounced once

and rolled on a yard or two
until gravity took over,

causing it to turn sharply,
and start slowly down the slope

towards the hole, speeding up
then slowing again as it got closer.

“All of a sudden,” Tiger’s words,
“it looked really good.”

“How could it not go in?” and
when it stopped, a single turn short,

“How did it not go in?”,
“And all of a sudden it went in.”

It was as if Tiger’s will
had given gravity an assist.

“In your life,” the tower announcer’s voice,
“have you seen anything like that?”

While around him, the patrons’ roar
rose rocket-like, fueled by sheer wonder.

Leon S White, PhD

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He’s Back

TigerWoods1997

With all the pointless talk about what Tiger might or might not do now that he’s completed one tournament, I couldn’t resist chiming in.


He’s Back

The new golf season,
Starting kind of strange.
That incoming Hawaiian missile –
A Tiger launch from his driving range.

Leon S White, PhD

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Speculation

TigerWoods1997

Now that Tiger has successfully completed a tournament without injury, the golf writers are having a field day (again) speculating about almost every future possibility. That’s fine, but I suspect Tiger’s focus is much narrower.

Speculation

Now that Tiger’s playing again,
Conjecture rules the day.
While Tiger’s thinking (here’s my guess)
Please, just let me play.

Leon S White, PhD

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Tiger’s Back

TigerWoods1997

Today Tiger begins yet another comeback from back surgery. The scenario has become familiar. The question is whether the outcome will be different. I have tried to recast all of this in four short lines.

Tiger’s Back

Tiger’s back?
Two questions in one?
Will it hold up in play?
Is his winning done?

Leon S White, PhD

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A Year Without Tiger

TigerWoods1997

Tiger Woods recently announced that he will return (again) to playing competitive golf. He has not played on the PGA Tour for almost a year. For those of us who have watched Tiger play for many years, this announcement is welcome. Maybe he will regain form and remind us of how great he was years ago.

But, for me, this year of golf with no Tiger was not often compelling.

Tiger Missing

Didn’t watch much golf this year
Not a lot to cheer about
Spieth had his moments, Thomas too;
But I missed Tiger -What about you?

Leon S White, PhD

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Not With a Bang

TigerWoods1997

When asked at a President’s Cup press conference last week if he would play again, Tiger Woods responded, “I don’t know what my future holds.” Recently it was also reported that in his attempt at recovery he had gone beyond putting and was now hitting shots with his wedges. These reports led me to the following (with apologies to T.S. Eliot),

Not With a Bang

If Tiger is through,
Then so ends our riches –
Not with a bang,
But 60 yard pitches.

Leon S White, PhD

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If Golf Balls Could Talk

6oldBalls_

I woke up this morning before the alarm rang and pretty quickly arranged the following four lines in my mind:

If golf balls could talk
What would they say?
That might depend on
Who put them in play.

So I quietly got up, left my still sleeping wife and headed for my study. In the next hour or so I pretty much completed the poem below. Now I can get my mind back on track and read today’s New York Times.

IF GOLF BALLS COULD TALK

If golf balls could talk
What would they say?
That might depend on
Who put them in play.

Jordan’s ball
Might explicate
On why all the pleading
When it’s too late.

Nicklaus’s ball
Might just tweet
‘Bout the good old days
When it couldn’t be beat.

Michelle’s ball
Might take a chance
And comment on
Her putting stance.

Tiger’s ball
Might make no sound
It’s bored after all
From sitting around.

Michelson’s ball
Might try to lay claim
To Lefty’s success
In his brilliant short game.

Tom Watson’s ball
Might talk a ton
‘Bout the five British Opens
The Champion Golfer won.

And,

Bubba’s ball
Might just complain
That it never goes straight
And is always in pain.

So,

What about your ball,
What about mine?
They might just keep silent
And that would be fine.

Leon S White, PhD

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1_TIGER_461

 

Since Tiger Woods has retreated from PGA Tour events, golf “scholars,” have offered Tiger a wide array of “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” to bring him back to championship form. Some have suggested that Tiger is finished as a front runner. As I have remarked in other Posts, maybe 100 years ago, situations like Tiger’s would be commented on not only in prose, but also in poetry. Since I am currently the (self-appointed) resident golf poet, here is my contribution regarding Tiger’s troubles:

Tiger Should or Shouldn’t

The ailing failing Tiger Woods
Is being hounded by the “shoulds”

 Should do this, should do that
To get away from where he’s at.

He should Harmon-ize again,
But this is now and that was then.

He should get his head on straight,
It’s not his swing, let’s not conflate.

Tiger Woods should come alive,
Else golfing revenues take a dive.

The “shouldn’t” folks are out there too
Telling Woods what not to do.

He shouldn’t bulk up quite so much,
It’s causing him to lose his touch.

He shouldn’t listen to any coach
Trusting instead in his own approach.

Or maybe Tiger shouldn’t care
And just move his glutes to a rocking chair.

But I’m bettin’ when Tiger comes back
He won’t look like any hack.

Leon S White, PhD

And for those who would like to practice their oral poetry reading skills,

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