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Have You Met Him

Thanks for visiting again or for the first time. As you may know (from reading this Blog) I’ve recently published a book called If Golf Balls Could Talk – Collected Golf Poems (available on Amazon). Here is a poem from the book that tells a familiar story:

 HE TALKS A GOOD GAME

He talks a good game
You know the guy

He judges each swing

With a critical eye. 

He talks a good game
Awash with advice

He’s off to the races

When he sees you slice. 

He talks a good game
He studies the pros

He is eager to tell you

All that he knows. 

He talks a good game
Can he turn a phrase

He talks a good game

But it’s not how he plays. 

He talks and he talks
With eyeballs that glisten
But even the duffers
No longer listen. 

If you’ve met this guy, you are welcome to share the experience in the comments section.

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Playing Like Tiger

TigerWoods1997

As a fan of Tiger Woods from the beginning, I wrote this four-liner with higher hopes than I have had during past “come-backs.”

Playing Like Tiger

Could Tiger be playing like Tiger again?
It sure has been a while;
But if you’re a fan of golf at all,
It can only make you smile.

Leon S White, PhD

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When Tiger was the Master of the Masters

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Tiger’s ball at the penultimate moment

With Tiger finally returning to the Masters this year, it is a good time to remember one of his most famous Masters shots that he made on the 16th hole in 2005. If you saw it live I would bet that you still remember it. But even for those of you that do and also for those that missed it, I offer this recollection.

♦A Masters Chip for the Ages

From a difficult lie beyond

the steeply sloped sixteenth green

a steely-eyed Tiger sent his ball
to a spot far above the hole,

the ball coming crisply off his wedge,
flew low, bounced once

and rolled on a yard or two
until gravity took over,

causing it to turn sharply,
and start slowly down the slope

towards the hole, speeding up
then slowing again as it got closer.

“All of a sudden,” Tiger’s words,
“it looked really good.”

“How could it not go in?” and
when it stopped, a single turn short,

“How did it not go in?”,
“And all of a sudden it went in.”

It was as if Tiger’s will
had given gravity an assist.

“In your life,” the tower announcer’s voice,
“have you seen anything like that?”

While around him, the patrons’ roar
rose rocket-like, fueled by sheer wonder.

Leon S White, PhD

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Narin Golf Club – 1986

Narin

I just looked at the clubhouse pictured on the Narin Golf Club’s website. It is much larger and more extensive than the one I remember from a family golf trip to Scotland in 1986. Then, if I remember correctly, it was just a single room with a long counter and an elderly proprietor to welcome us. This recollection inspired the four lines below. (Many of today’s golfers may find it hard to relate to the word picture I have drawn.)

Narin Golf Club, Scotland – 1986

The old proprietor ‘s greeting
On a windy cloudy day;
Nothing fancy, nothing false,
You couldn’t wait to play.

Leon S White, PhD

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The Agonies of Golfing

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Edgar A Guest, born in England in 1881, worked for the Detroit Free Press for more than 60 years. He was also a popular poet and a golfer. In part, he used his poetry to agonize over his inability to play better golf. In December 1921 Guest published a poem called “Golf Experience” in Golfers Magazine.  Here are a few excerpts.

I’ve golfed throughout another year,
Drifting snows will soon be here,
And now I view with discontent
This season that so soon was spent;
Once more I dubbed the whole year through,
Nor did I make an eighty-two.
……….
I blundered all through early June,
I could not use my trusty spoon,
But hope still stayed–ere summer fell
I knew I should be playing well
……….
August still found me keeping on
With scores unfit to look upon
……….
The same old dub that was am I,
I don’t improve howe’er I try;
Lessons and practice all in vain,
With me the hook or slice remain
But still to hope I fondly cling,
I know I’ll play the game next spring.

Proses can’t compete with poetry when it comes to extolling the agonies of playing the game and the never-ending hope of improvement.

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At the End of Another Golf Season

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Each golf season, at least for me, has begun with hopes and expectations of improvement. By the time a season ends, a keen mind can recall a few instances when improvement was evident. A compassionate mind will overlook other cases where expectations were dashed by inelegant play. 

Yet perfection is the hope of many golfers. For me the idea of “perfect golf” and the true enjoyment of the game are antithetical. I tried to explain this viewpoint in the following poem.

Perfect Golf

If,
in every game all greens were hit
and each was then one putted
would golf as a game
still be the same
its mystery all but gutted?

Errorless play may be the goal
but when you come down to it
to play the best
would end the test
so . . .
would you want to do it?

Leon S White, PhD

 

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With Thanks to Richard Wilber

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Last year I published a book called Opposites in Golf. The 32 poems in the book were all based on the idea of taking a word (in my book the word was related to golf) and then going on a poetic search for its opposite. The idea was originated by the great American poet, Richard Wilber. Wilber passed away a few days ago at age 96. 

One of Wilber’s shortest opposites poem may also be one of his best,

What is the opposite of two?
A lonely me, a lonely you.

 In my book, I also included a two line poem,

What’s the opposite of flub?
To hit it flush with any club.

When I first began to write opposites poems, I sent a few to Mr. Wilber. He wrote back, “Tennis has always been my game …but I see enough golf … to understand you very well, and to know that a number of words like putt and tee are waiting to claim your attention.” And they did and here’s one of them,

What is the opposite of tea?
It’s coffee we would all agree.
But avid golfers might start yelling,
Insisting on a different spelling.

For them,

A tee is wooden; its top is round
To place a golf ball above ground.
Remove the tee and then alas,
A tee’s opposite must be grass.

May Mr. Wilber’s memory be an abiding blessing.

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Rough

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Yesterday, my wife and I went to the funeral of a very close friend. It has often been said that golf provides metaphors for life.To which I would add … from beginning to end.

Rough

A close friend could not escape the rough;
One of a kind, that was him for sure.
His handicap was just too high;
Hit with an illness without a cure.

Leon S White, PhD

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Cost of Putters

Golf_Improve_Swing_Joke (1)

Periodically, you hear the story about a pro who sours on his/her putter. Before the tournament begins, the pro goes to the pro-shop, picks a putter out of a barrel of used putters, and then goes on to win the event. It does happen.

But most pros and the rest of us add to our collection of putters, from time to time, by buying a new one … that feels just right. New putters today seem to be getting more expensive. Hence my observation:

The Cost of Putters

Have you noticed the price of putters?
Many $200 and more;
They could be considered a bargain
If only they lowered your score.

Leon S White, Phd

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Par The Last

Hole in One

Shakespeare wrote “All’s Well that Ends Well.” In psychology there is a precept called the “peak-end rule” which states that the way an experience ends determines the happiness we ascribe to it. In golf, the effect of the rule might be described as,

Par The Last

Bogey after bogey,
You’re failing the test,
Par the last hole . . .
And you forget the rest!

Leon S White, PhD

 

Please come back next week for another poetic observation on golf.

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