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Joys of Golf

November 9, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Dear Blog reader: I hope that you won’t mind if, from time to time, I post a short excerpt from my book, Golf Course of Rhymes – Links between Golf and Poetry Through the Ages. The book provides a lyrical view of golf and its history through the words of golfing poets from publications dated 1638 to the present. It will make a great present for any golfer who loves the game. The book is available on Amazon.com.

The book is organized like a golf course – it has an Introduction, the Practice Tee, and then 18 Holes (chapters); it ends on the 19th Hole. The 3rd Hole, titled “Joys of Golf” included the following poem which I wrote.

♦On Course

Golf is a singular way
to take temporary leave
following a zigzag path
in search of a small white ball;

to abandon reality,
but stay the course,
hole after hole;

to create a new story,
always different
to be told to someone
before it’s forgotten.

An extraordinary chance
to pretend for a brief time
no matter how unskilled
that each stroke will be flawless;

to endure the pain of failure
without really failing,
and even if only once a round,

to truly enjoy
the pure pleasure
of hitting the ball rock-solid
or sinking a long tricky putt.

Among the other poems in the chapter, one was written by Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of Sherlock Homes and another by Sir John Betjman, a British poet laureate. Both Doyle and Betjman were avid golfers. I’m among good company!

Filed Under: golf, Golf Course of Rhymes, golf poetry, golf poetry books, poetry, sports poetry, The book "Golf Course of Rhymes" Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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Marketing Golf Poetry

October 14, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Marketing golf poetry—talk about a tough assignment. That’s what I have been doing with this Blog for almost three years. And now with my book as well. I have had some success with about 54,000 Blog page views and a spot on some of the top 50 golf blog lists.

But just recently, I zeroed in on what I’m “selling.” Let me explain it this way. Products and services are now thought of by marketers as means to an end. And the end has to be a great, memorable, unique, (you put in the adjective) experience. For example, a golf course wants to create an unforgettable experience for its customers. A club maker isn’t selling you clubs; he’s selling you the experience of playing your best golf with them.

So old readers and new, I am not selling golf poetry on this Blog or in my book. I am selling a unique and exhilarating golf experience —the experience of reciting golf poems. And you know what? You won’t get that golf experience any other way on the course or off. For some, reading poetry out-loud will take as much courage as playing a fairway wood over water. For others it may come easier. But whatever your predisposition, this much I know. Unlike golfers of an earlier generation, you have had little or no opportunity to enjoy this aspect of the game. Here is your chance.

You might begin with the opening stanza from a poem called “The Lay for the Troubled Golfer” by Edgar A. Guest (born in England in 1881), a writer for the Detroit Free Press for more than sixty years. This is a poem you just have to read out loud.

 His eye was wild and his face was taut with anger and hate and rage,
And the things he muttered were much too strong for the ink of the printed page.
I found him there when the dusk came down, in his golf clothes still was he,
And his clubs were strewn around his feet as he told his grief to me:
“I’d an easy five for a seventy-nine—in sight of the golden goal—
An easy five and I took an eight—an eight on the eighteenth hole!

Not all golf poems, or poems in general, are that dramatic, so reading experiences will be different. But just as with hitting different golf shots, each experience can be rewarding.

Let’s try one more, this one the first two stanzas from a poem in an earlier Post called “St. Andrew’s Law by Robert Browning.” Robert H. K. Browning (not the famous poet) was a Scottish writer, golf magazine editor and golf historian who was active in the first half of the 20th century.

 When prehistoric swipers sliced, and blamed the sloping tee,
They got so riled, Saint Andrew smiled, and “Blasphemers,” said he,
“Henceforth the lightly made excuse shall give you no resource;
Ye may not win to act or use of falsehood on the course.

“Let Peter judge his fisher folk, whose unexamined scales
Their easy consciences provoke to all-unswallowed tales;
But ye the prickly whin shall test, the bunker shall condemn:
The gods of golfing love to jest–but do not jest with them.

If you are having fun, come back to my Blog from time to time and choose from the many poems I have posted. And if you like, look at my book, Golf Course of Rhymes – Links between Golf and Poetry Through the Ages, on Amazon. If you do you can recite the rest of Guest’s poem, “The Lay for the Troubled Golfer.”

Filed Under: golf, Golf Course of Rhymes, golf history, golf humor, golf poetry, golf poetry books, humor, poetry, sports poetry, The book "Golf Course of Rhymes" Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,
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Was Omar Khayyam a Golfer?

May 12, 2011 by Leave a Comment

In 1965, when I was a young professor at the M.I.T. Sloan School, I wrote a paper with the title, “Markovian Decision Models for the Evaluation of a Large Class of Continuous Sampling Inspection Plans.” In June of 2009, I published a paper with the title, “Was Omar Khayyam a Golfer” in “Through the Green,” a publication of the British Golf Collectors Society. I leave it to you to characterize the arc of my writing career. Right now I’m more concerned with the arc of my drives! The golf parodies of Khayyam’s famous poem, “The Rubaiyat” are  explored more fully in the 7th Chapter of my new book, “Golf Course of Rhymes.”



Filed Under: golf, Golf Course of Rhymes, golf history, golf humor, golf poetry, humor, poetry Tagged With: , , , , , , , 
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“He’ll yet a gowfer be.”
 

February 21, 2011  by  1 Comment 





If you search my blog using the word “duffer” you will find 10 Posts out of a little over a hundred that include the term. Duffers are common on the golf course and in golf poetry as well. But what is the opposite of “duffer?” It might be the perfect golfer, except there are none. But that hasn’t stopped golf poets from musing about the possibility of playing perfect golf or what it might feel like to be a perfect golfer. In my book, Golf Course of Rhymes – Links between Golf and Poetry, I include several poems on golf perfection. I found another, this one on a duffer’s view of perfect golf, in a book called Divots for Dubs, privately published by J. Ellsworth Schrite in 1934.




The Par Buster


I pray that some day I might be,

Allowed to step up to the tee,

And there with all my friends to see,

I’d swing–so smooth and evenly

That they, who’ve seen me in disgrace,

Would marvel at my new-found grace.

And as the ball sailed straight and true,

I’d hear them murmur: “What hit you?”


With practiced calm I’d stand and stare,

And watch the ball sail thru the air.

And when it settled to the land,

My friends would grasp me by the hand

And mutter: “Gosh! I’ve never seen,

A drive hit so near the green.”

I wouldn’t strut–I’d trudge along,

Stilling my heart from its victory song.


My second, with an iron I’d hit,

With plenty of spin to make it “sit.”

Of course, I’d be allowed to grin,

When it rolled almost to the “pin.”

I wouldn’t have to use my putter,

For, “Pick it up”, I’d hear them mutter.

From every tee I’d drive them far,

On every green I’d laugh at par.


The rough, the traps, and all that stuff,

Would see that I was good enough

To guide my ball beyond their clutch,

I’d pass them by with hooks and such.

And when the course I’d travel o’er,

I’d let my caddy add the score.”

I wouldn’t faint nor shout with glee,

If he should look with awe at me.

But how we all would celebrate,

When he shouted–sixty-eight.


I wonder, would I lose the thrill,

Playing that well–perhaps I will.

Oh well, a day dream now and then,

Gives us hope–we try again.


So in the end it is not unreachable perfection, but the hope of getting better that drives us all. John Thomson, an Scottish lawyer, golfer and poet, put this idea to verse in 1893:


See yonder lads upon the links.

Go, find a duffer there but thinks,

For a'[all] the jeers and wylie winks,

He’ll yet a gowfer be.


Filed Under: golf, Golf Course of Rhymes, golf humor, golf poetry, golf poetry books, humor, poetry, Scotland, sports poetry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , 
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“Golf Dings A'”
 

December 27, 2010  by  Leave a Comment 


This year  may not have been the greatest for golf, professional and otherwise, but it was a great year for golf poetry.  This Blog got more than 20,000 page views and the subject of golf poetry was featured in a May Wall St. Journal article.


Hopefully, 2011 will be an even bigger year with the publication of my book, Golf Course of Rhymes — Links Between Golf and Poetry Through the Ages, by Golfiana Press.


Some of the golf poetry of old was written by Scottish golfers who read or sung their poetry at club meetings. One of those golfers was David Jackson, Captain of the Thistle Golf Club, in Levin. He published his “songs and recitations” in a short book of 32 pages in 1886. Last August I wrote a Post that featured one of his poems. Jackson and the other club house poets wrote about golf with an enthusiasm, love and respect and a kind of innocence that was unique to that time. Jackson’s “Gouff Dings A'” loosely translated as “Golf Surpasses All” is a good example. Subtitled, “Sung at a Convivial Meeting,” here, to begin with, is the Chorus:


For Gouff dings a’, my boys, Gouff will aye ding a’

With joy we’ll swing our Clubs and Cleek, and drive the bounding Ba’;

Then over bunkers, braes (hills), and bent, we’ll gang (go) out twa (two) by twa,

With hearts elate and mind content–oh, Gouff dings a’.


And here are a few of the stanzas. Remember this was sung in the 1880’s:


Oh, hoo (how) are ye a’ the nicht (night), my friends? I hope I see ye weel (well),

Yer Clubs a’ in guid (good) order; yer Cleeks and Irons like steel.

I’ve just looked in for half-an-hour to ha’e a joke or twa

About our jolly game o’ Gouff–for Gouff dings a’.


…..Chorus


The Gouff belongs to Scotland, but its spreading sure and far;

You’ll find a Golfing-Course, my boys, wherever Scotsmen are;

In Africa,in India, in America, ’tis the same,

Australia and our Colonies pay homage to the game.


…..Chorus


King James the Fourth, he loved the game; but had to put it down,

In case his men forgot the way to fight for King and Crown.

No wonder that he banned it, boys–if a’ that’s said be true,

They played the game through a’ the week, and on the Sunday, too.


…..Chorus


I met a chap the other nicht, he was looking unco (strangely) blue;

Said I, “My boy, what can annoy a lively lad like you?”

“‘Tis a’ about the Golf,” he said, while tears ran ower his cheeks,

“The wife and I have had a row, and she’s burnt my Clubs and Cleeks.”


…..Chorus


Then, let us swell the mighty throng of Princes, Lords, and Kings

Who have enjoyed the game of Golf above all other things

And wish success to every one, let him be great or sma’,

Who loves the jolly game o’ Gouff–for Gouff dings a’.


So next Friday night when you “take a cup of kindness yet,/ for auld lang syne,” take one as well for  David Jackson and the game he describes so lovingly.


Filed Under: Australia, golf, golf course, Golf Course of Rhymes, golf history, golf humor, golf poetry, golf poetry books, golf songs, Johnny Cash, poetry, Scotland, sports poetry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , 
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New Post Frequency
 

September 13, 2010  by  Leave a Comment 
I have decided to add a new Post about every two weeks instead of weekly. With more than 90 poems on the Blog at this point, there is plenty to read (and recite). And to be honest, it is getting harder to find interesting old golf poems that I have not put in my book or on this Blog already. Also this fall I will be spending more time preparing my book manuscript for publication in 2011.


I want to thank all of you who visit the Blog from time to time. For those interested, the current Top Post is “Golf Ball Poetry.” Others high on the list include, “A Poem You Can Relate To,” “Attitudes Toward Women Golfers in the Early Days,” and “Lying in Golf Poetry.”


I will continue to announce new Posts on Twitter as well as publish Twitter Twines from time to time.


Look for the next new Post around September 20th. Thanks again for your interest.


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